In the middle of a desolate Wednesday afternoon

8 more years of education, I might be where I wanna be in order to have the practice that I want.

Yes, either 8 years to get the Medical School Doctor or 8 years to get the Naturopathic Doctor. Either way, I am going to have the education I want to do what I want in practice.

I am not sure I am going to be able to settle with just my Doctor of TCM

Man, FB is hilarious. I dunno, I think I am going to be doing a giant FL cleaning in the next few days. Just people I have never talked with, don't want to talk with now.

I cannot stand having a few people on there talking about their panic attacks or abortions. To be honest, there are a few people I want to slap and just tell them to "get over it" cause everyone's life sucks, some of us just handle the shitty parts better than others.

I am not using my LJ much anymore. I am still going to be keeping it for the random thoughts I have at the random times I want to write them here.

I am enjoying my artist-ness on Flickr (though I am learning how to use my camera more than anything else, and it is one picky little beast) and my "friends" life seems to be more on FB than anything else.

I don't have much to put in this little journal anymore. I have taken to writing in my real journals, in FB, writing through photos in Flickr and living life a little more now that I am happily home.

I love the fact that I am home, with a fine job, better friends, and even my radio station :D I just need to make sure I have none of those poisonous people around me

Flickr.
365
Starts
today

Right now, I am feeling so ~in my head~

There is just something about going to Medical School, that just throws me into a tizzy. Now, in terms of smarts, I could get in. In terms of the new "life experience" crap, I WILL get in.

It mainly comes down to whether or not I want to put forth the time, energy, patience, skill and money to do this school stuff for another 6+ years.

~in other more exciting news, my awesome brother is buying my camera for my birthday.

Every few months, the Western doctor thing keeps popping into my life. ~le sigh

I still think that even if I give myself 3 years to start it, I could still do it.

But, it is going to mean so many other things are going to be put on hold (traveling) and maybe not even happen (children). I mean, currently, I don't want kids, but that doesn't mean that I am not ever going to want them. And it is a hard choice to make, to never want to do something.

Do I go through the hassle of it all?
Would I even make it into Med School?
Will I ever get to move out of my parents house?
Will I have children? (Should I?)
Could I travel?
Enjoy the things in life I want?
Should I stay complacent in my life?

I have perfected my Chuan'r recipe. I am ecstatic to be able to go back to Xi'an and Beijing whenever I want.

Now, to figure out Dao xiao mian, mao er duo, xiao long boa, Rou jia mo, the muslim quesadilla thing that I loved and the weird gelatin / tofu thing.

i love being home and enjoying time with my friends.

now, just I want a camera

I am blessed.

I want to try to convince my brother to buy me a nice camera, just cause he has lots of money and he HAS to love me cause I am his only sister

~I bought another glass apple. This one is going to match my AliceinWonderland teaset.

....only stupid people are breeding

After a friend of mine gave birth today(ish), I have started to think if I am ever going to have children. There is just so much in the world I want to do, I am not sure I would ever want to have children for the fear that I am going to be tied down.

Besides, all the "reasons" to have children, well they all seem petty to me. I don't want to install beliefs on someone, I don't want to create something with someone, I don't feel the need to dance in the showers of life by having a child.

It is weird, but I always thought that when I was younger I would eventually feel the need to have children, but it still seems so distance and so annoying to have something you have to be responsible for.

My 55 Confessions

1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
My sexy Sith husband. Or Orlando Bloom or Karl Urban...

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Yes.

( quiz time )

30 days of swimming. Wonder if I can do that....

~I am making the best quinoa bars. Kinda like granola, but with no gluten and completely vegan and whole food as well :D I am going to love them. They are a little soft, but I am thinking the next time I am going to make them I am going to half the oats and add more seeds, nuts, and maybe a protein powder.

~I am working all weekend, which is going to be nice, I am going to enjoy the money :D And I am going to be going to Transformers on Sunday, I think.

~I am only going to mention one thing about MJ:
"...May his music enter heaven, even though he won't." _TL

~After all my anger this morning, I did manage to do something with the raging energy. I finally put everything that was in a box from my move somewhere into my room. I am finally moved in somewhere and I don't even care that I am moved (back) into my parents house. I could live here forever. I may not ever move out ever again.

Will not move in with roommates ever again. Will not move somewhere that I am not happy with. Will only move in somewhere that I can afford and than ends up being less than 30% of my monthly salary.

And I want somewhere that I can paint, re-decorate to my heart's content.

And, I want to be invisible as well.

~I hate banks. I have said this before, I am going to say it again and again, I just think they are manipulative and serve little to no purpose. And don't get me started on credit. I am not ever going to own a credit card again. I hate the idea of not earning my money before I spend it. And those things called RRSP's... I am not going to start on my love / hate for those.

~I am also thinking I am going to need to find myself an anarchist accountant for when I start my business. Literally, I want to claim and file the least amount I can, or even become entirely invisible. There is no greater desire I have than to become invisible, I want to be one of the people that actually protects their business and their life from the eyes of the outside world.

~I am totally on a hate-on for the normal constructs of our society and how it leaves us vulnerable and without a lot of control about who has our information, who can get our information and that those with our information can do whatever they like with set information.

~I really have turned into one of ~those~ hippie people. I am prefectly ok with it too.

Nothing’s quite worse than meeting some really promising guy or girl and then realizing that he or she is an Escalade-driving, non-recycling, Earth fucker-upper.
-Treehugger.com

Weird, reading back on my journal from last year...

I wanted out of Calgary so bad, I should of just transfered then. And I would have been done school this year. C'est la vie.

Always it seems on the longest day of the year I am surrounded by friends and good times. I am very blessed - God provides all abundance for everyone, myself included.

And for the 3rd year in a row, I have stayed up long enough to see the sun rise. 4am to 11pm. So gorgeous. (I only wish I could of been on Hua Shan....)

I am going to be working alone in the store today. I am kinda apprehensive about it, but I guess it is going to be okay. I kinda hope it is going to be busy, just so I have a lot to do.